


March Complications

by VictrolaDoll



Category: Alice in Wonderland (2010), Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Related Fandoms, Mad T Party Band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2018-04-03 11:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4099279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictrolaDoll/pseuds/VictrolaDoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things don't go as planned for the band when March kicks in, in unexpected ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So Screwed

**Author's Note:**

> (backdated)

“ABSOLEM!”

The caterpillar awoke the morning of March first to a clamor at his bedroom door.

“ABS, HELP!” Whoever was outside was not only yelling, but banging, and they needed to stop it. Now.

Grumbling, Absolem rolled out of his nest of pillows, shuffled to the door and pulled it open. Barely in time to save his face from an accidental pounding, he caught the knocker’s offending fist in one of his own.

“ _What_ , Mallymkun?” He ground out between clenched teeth.

Mally, was too jumpy to notice Absolem’s tone, “Abs. Abs, help. Please help. I don’t know what to do! Abs you have to help! We’re finished! Done for! ABS,” the dormouse was so far gone that he was jittering and bouncing on the balls of his feet, all the while clutching a cloth bundle to his chest with his free hand, “WE’RE SCREWED!!”

The caterpillar frowned at his normally cogent friend. Generally it would be Thackery or Tarrant who would degrade to such a state. Not Mallymkun. Gently, not wanting to startle the panicking man before him, Absolem released the fist he had been grasping and instead guided his long fingers further up Mally’s arm. The dormouse automatically mimicked the motion, seizing hold of Absolem’s biceps, and allowing himself to be drawn into the caterpillar’s room. Once inside, he stood quivering, as Abs awkwardly closed the door behind them without breaking the contact. The bundle Mally clung to wriggled and snorted. Both Absolem and Mally jumped. Mally, released his grip on Abs to peel back a layer of fabric from the top of the bundle. Out from the writhing center of what looked like a balled up sweatshirt popped the head of a very cross, brilliantly teal hare.

Absolem stumbled backwards until his feet caught on one of his giant floor cushions and he involuntarily sat down on it with a rather loud 'flump'.

“Please,” he begged, “tell me that,  _that_  is not Thackery Earwicket.” He steepled his hands together in front of his chin, “Tell me that is not- that creature is _not_ our bassist.”

Mally bit his lip, shifted his weight a few times, and stroked the hare’s snout. Finally he opened his mouth, “It’s, um, it’s not Thackery?”

“You are lying to me.”

“Yes?”

Abs groaned, “How did this happen?”

The dormouse started fidgeting, a nervous tic making an appearance at the corner of his mouth, “ I d-don’t know, I w-woke up and…” He trailed of shrugging helplessly. The hare in his arms had started thrashing about, working it’s way out of it’s wrappings.

Absolem buried his face in his hands, “We are so screwed.”


	2. No Pets Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting of the dormitory occupants is called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what was supposed to be a random little piece is now continued. Stay tuned for more ladies and gents, because I intend to get ridiculous.  
> (backdated)

It was approximately six fifteen in the A.M. and the entirety of the Mad T-party Band was gathered together on the living room couches. Due to the haste with which they had congregated, and that the meeting had started out with every intention of chastising Mally for noise pollution (and then hopefully going back to sleep) they were all still in their night cloths. Alice, for one, was perched on the far end of the left hand couch in her favorite pale yellow dressing gown. She absently fiddling with one of her blonde and pink curls, unsure of quite what else to do with herself. To her right, Absolem sat hunched, his face still planted firmly into his palms. He had not bothered to put anything more on for the sake of modesty, and was clothed only in his maroon and pink paisley, silk pajama pants. He was starting to get a bit cold, which was evidenced by the goosebumps had begun to texture his forearms. The next couch over was set in such a way that the two couches created a wide ‘V’ shape with end tables on either sides and a small gap at the 'V’s point. At that gap stood Nivens, in an overlarge grey hoodie out from underneath which, poked a pair of white boxers patterned with red hearts. His hands were braced on his hips, and his head cocked to one side, nose twitching. Leaning over the back of the second couch stood The Cheshire Cat. As far as anybody could see he was only wearing a black, yellow, and purple tartan patterned robe. Though he thought it a pity that nobody was quite in the state of mind to ask if there was anything underneath his lovely robe, he mentally reminded himself that there would be a time for such things later. Tarrant sat upside down on the same couch with his back to the seat and his rear situated against the backrest. The hatter seemed to have tried to throw on a blue striped terri-cloth robe, but the belt contraption had foiled his plans by becoming a twisted, knotted mess, so the robe lay open and tangled about his torso. His legs, clad in glaringly orange cotton pants with giant yellow polkadots, were flung over the head rest and kicked out at the air every so often while his head dangled from the settee where legs normally went. 

Mallymkun sat with his back to the bottom of the couch, to the left of Tarrants head. He was wearing a loose green long sleeve shirt that looked like it probably belonged to Thackery, and covering his crossed legs was a pair of baggy blue sweat pants. Under normal circumstances, Mally might have been amused that just about every single person in the room was looking in the general direction of his crotch. This was not normal circumstances however, and instead his throat felt tight and dry with horror as he too stared bemusedly at the bright teal hare which sat between his crossed legs.

Thackery, for his part, may, or my not have had something to say about the situation. If anybody could really tell, they weren’t letting on. He was sat back on his hind legs and gazing around at everybody. They all goggled right back at him, with the exception of Absolem, and nobody said a word. Growing bored, the hare  braced his paws on Mallys thigh and leaned towards Tarrant, sniffing at the man’s forehead and then upwards, bumping their noses together. The hatter, couldn’t help but crack a smile as Thack’s whiskers tickled his face.

“Well…” Alice finally ventured, “What are we to do now? Do you suppose we call up the Tweedles and the Cards? Let them know what has come about?”

The Cheshire waved this notion away with a flick of his hand.

“Do we even know what  _has_ come about?” Asked Nivens, “Why is it that his form has changed and not mine as well?” As he spoke, he gestured towards Thackery, who was now nuzzling under Mally’s jaw, making the dormouse giggle. 

“Why 'cause 'tis March, of course!” Tarrant stated, in a tone resembling that of an excitable grade schooler who knows the answer to the teacher’s question. “His being a March Hare. Now being March. Therefore, consequently, hence, in conclusion, accordingly, on that account, as a result, thusly-”

“Hatter!” Alice and Mally both cried out at once.

As he had been talking, Tarrant’s eyes had taken on a smoldering golden hue, and his voice had grown deeper, bringing out his homebred accent of Witzend. "So he is now a hare.“ He squeaked out quickly, his features and pronunciation returning to normal.

"But why have we heard nothing of this happening before?” Demanded Niven’s.

“Because no known March Hare has been of sound enough mind to make it to the human world before our time.” Sighed Absolem, finally removing his face from the refuge his hands provided. Blinking around at the rest of them, his gaze fell to the Thackery-hare. Rolling his eyes, he let himself fall backward as if hoping that the muted leaf-green couch cushions might eat him alive. At least if they did, he would not have to deal with the possibility of their Disney contract going up in smoke. No pun intended.

Silence once more descended upon the group as everybody mulled over this revelation in their own way.

Tarrant, who had been staring off into space chewing his bottom lip, suddenly flipped his legs over his head, somersaulting to the floor and landing on one knee as if he were going to propose to the couch. While the action was dramatic, it was a bit offset by the hem of his robe not quite making the full somersault with him. The result being that it caught over his head and stayed there.

Unfazed, Tarrant shook his head to make the robe fall into it’s previous hanging position, and got to his feet.“This requires tea.” He announced.

“Make mine Irish.” said Nivens.

“Second that.” Mumbled Absolem

“Firsted and seconded,” declared the hatter, “whiskey in the pot it is.”

“Wait not mine!” cried Mally.

“But, it has been seconded.” The tousle-headed Tarrant stared at the dormouse as if not quite sure which of them was actually mad here.

“Tarrant dear,” Alice soothed, “this isn’t an official band meeting.”

“Oh… I suppose I’ll just bring the bottle over with the tea, then.”

“Actually, just skip the tea on my part, and bring the booze.” Absolem directed, pulling his yellow tinted spectacles out of nowhere in particular and putting them on.

“Seconded.” Said The Cheshire, with a grin.

“Firsted and seconded-” Started Tarrant.

“Not an official meeting Tarrant!” Nivens reminded, compulsively tapping at his left wrist in the universal motion for 'time’.

“I- jus’- gah!” The flustered hat maker threw his hands into the air a stomped around the backs of the couches in the direction of the kitchenette.

“Oh dear Chess, now look at what you’ve done.” Alice got up to help her distraught singing partner make the tea.

The Cat smirked widely as he watched the pair walk away, then turned his attention back to Mally and Thack.

He reached forwards, and ran his hand just barely over the tips of Mallymkun’s pale blonde and sleep-ruffled hair, “You know,” Chess mused, “We aren’t allowed to keep pets in the dormitories. Management will be ever so displeased.”

“He’s not a pet!” Snapped the mouse, leaning forward so that he could turn his torso and head and see Chess, “He’s our friend!”

“Guys,” Nivens interrupted hysterically, “ _our friend is a pet!_ ”

The Thackery-hare snorted at this pronouncement and stamped a hind paw on the floor.

Mally growled and let out an incomprehensible string of Underlandish syllables that could only be spelled out by the repeated smashing of ones face against a computer keyboard.


End file.
